We put popular crisps to the crunch test as Doritos launch female-friendly snacks

FAINT-HEARTED members of the fairer *** who fall into a swoon at the thought of eating corn chips are in luck – “lady-friendly” Doritos are on the way.

They will be quieter to eat, cause less mess and the packet will fit in handbags.

Oliver Dixon – olliedixon.com

Lucy puts crisps to the ultimate decorum test[/caption]

Indra Nooyi, boss of Doritos owner PepsiCo said of women snackers: “They don’t like to crunch too loudly in public. And they don’t lick their fingers generously and they don’t like to pour the little broken pieces and the flavour into their mouth.”

The Women’s Equality Party hit out at the firm for “tired stereotypes”.

So how do women cope with all the macho crisps currently on the market?

We asked our fair lady AMY JONES to test some favourites.

Oliver Dixon – olliedixon.com

The snacks have all been given a handbag rating[/caption]

Here she rates them out of five each for discreetness of crunch, handbag-suitability and how few crumbs they left on her white gloves, giving each an overall score for ladylikeness out of 15.

Kettle Chips, Sea Salt and Balsamic

(40g, 84p)

Oliver Dixon – olliedixon.com

Crunch test: Look elegant and the sound is too, at an ear-pleasing 64.6 decibels. 4

Glove test: Despite plain look a tinge of colour is left on my favourite gloves. 3

Handbag test: My weak lady fingers struggle to plunge these crisps in their plump air-filled pack into my handbag. 1

Total: 8/15

Frazzles, Crispy Bacon

(18g, £1.05 for an eight-pack)

Oliver Dixon – olliedixon.com

Crunch test: My delicate lady ears! These crunch at a beastly 79.2 decibels. 0

Glove test: My gleaming gloves are left a shocking lemon yellow. 1

Handbag test: They fit nicely – which is their only redeeming quality. 4

Total: 5/15

Wotsits, Really Cheesy

(36g, 84p)

Oliver Dixon – olliedixon.com

Crunch test: Fie! The shape alone is enough to offend my delicate sensibilities. Thankfully the crunch is a modest 72 decibels. 3

Glove test: My mitts are stained a orange. One would never find catch oneself a man with such hideous hands. 0

Handbag test: I can’t close the clasp. 0

Total: 3/15

Monster Munch, Pickled Onion

(40g, 84p)

Oliver Dixon – olliedixon.com

Crunch test: At 68 decibels the crunch is mildly monstrous. As we all know, a lady should be seen and not heard. 3

Glove test: They leave no colour, but rather a lot of crumbly residue. 3

Handbag test: Dearie me. The garish purple packet pokes out the sides of my bag. Most unbecoming. 1

Total: 7/15

Walkers, Ready Salted

(32.5g, 68p)

Oliver Dixon – olliedixon.com

Crunch test: What a din! They may be thin but at 70.6 decibels they give a huge roar. 2

Glove test: My gloves are still splendidly white. These leave barely a crumb. 5

Handbag test: They fit at a squeeze, but there is room for nothing else and a gentlewoman needs more than just crisps in her bag. 5

Total: 12/15

Doritos, Original

(55g, 89p)

Oliver Dixon – olliedixon.com

Crunch test: At 60.9 decibels these are most pleasing to mine ears and the quietest of the bunch. 4

Glove test: My dainty gloves are stained a devilish yellow, but it’s nothing the maid won’t be able to scrub orf. 3

Handbag test: Rather a struggle to fit them in. There’s barely any room for my hat pin. 3

Total: 10/15

Mini Cheddars, Original

(25g, 84p)

Oliver Dixon – olliedixon.com

Crunch test: The hushed sound reminds me of a powder compact gently shutting. At a mere 64.6 decibels, these are suitably lady-friendly. 4

Glove test: Gloves are left clean and crumb-free – bliss. 5

Handbag test: The crisps fit easily into my bag, leaving plenty of room for my lady make-up. 5

Total: 14/15

Hula Hoops, Big Hoops BBQ Beef

(50g, 89p)

Oliver Dixon – olliedixon.com

Crunch test: Too loud to eat in company, but a crunch of 71 decibels makes them an acceptable solo snack. 3

Glove test: How fun – they fit over my dainty lady hands! Leave only merest tinge of yellow. 4

Handbag test: Just about fit but it’s an inelegant process. 2

Total: 9/15

Quavers, Cheese

34g, 84p

Oliver Dixon – olliedixon.com

Crunch test: At 65.7 decibels these have a perfectly polite crunch. 4

Glove test: Surprisingly little colour is left on my gloves but the smell will hang around all day. No lady wants to smell like cheddar. 3

Handbag test: Too big. I struggle to do up clasp on my bag. Totally unsuitable. 2

Total: 9/15

McCoy’s, Flame Steak Grilled

47.5g, 84p

Oliver Dixon – olliedixon.com

Crunch test: Despite their intimidating manly ridges, they come in at a well-mannered 68.3 decibels. 4

Glove test: Thumbs take on a nasty shade of yellow. Unbecoming. 2

Handbag test: Clearly designed for gentlemen, these crisps will not fit in a tiny lady bag. 1

Total: 7/15

Squares, Salt & Vinegar

(40g, 84p)

Oliver Dixon – olliedixon.com

Crunch test: The perfect size for my itsy-bitsy lady mouth and their crunch is a mere whisper at 62.5 decibels. 5

Glove test: No one would know you’d snacked. They leave no trace. 5

Handbag test: I look most ungainly shoving these crisps in my bag. Their generous portion size lets them down. 2

Total: 12/15

Source: thesun
We put popular crisps to the crunch test as Doritos launch female-friendly snacks